| Summary: | 碩士 === 國立屏東教育大學 === 幼兒教育學系 === 98 === This life story begins with a “self-fulfillment”, under the action of narrative interpretation, deconstruction, reconstruction, and the discovery of the “persisting in one’s own opinions”, to explore a deeper mist voyage. The boat went to the center of the lake, from a miserable childhood relationship with the mother due to parents’ unhappy marriage. On the road of “love”, I suffered from my mother’s excessive restrictions, repressions, negative impacts, and school experiences. These brought about my low self-esteem, stubbornness, and out of the inherent socialization. I often reconsider the meaning of “love” and “childhood”. The everlasting “light” covered me with the "resilience" comparable sugar. On the surface, it looked like a rotten tree producing good seeds. In a careful self-reflection of my first twenty-two years, the inside of me was actually a torrent of struggles. I was almost knocked down and lost my life direction due to the impact from my mother’s passing away along with the conflicts between ideals and realities in the preschool education. Through self-narration, the complexity of love and childhood became clear and supporting for the declaration of “children’s justice.” It seems to link my own childhood to the continual attempts to “break free." To make the choice between "freedom" and "intervention" in school education; "Education" and "my early experiences" were united together. Sailing deeper, I was dropped into the self-accused regret: it was too late to say goodbye to my mother. I finally found out that I was wrong.
I thought that my mother should be responsible for my stubbornness because of her inappropriate love. Later, I realized that the person who put me in the cage was my self. How would I face this heart-breaking mistake? Thanks to God who gave me the blue skies in my workplace and released my imprisoned soul. I really have been forgiven by Him, my mother, and my self.
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