| Summary: | 碩士 === 國立臺北大學 === 社會工作學系 === 98 === Because of my father’s early death, I have always been highly insecure to economic issue. Therefore, I decided to attend the national examination and entered the civil service employee system, which provides me with a stable job.
Serving as a social worker in Women’s Drug Abuser Treatment Center, I have been working with different people and dealing with different business. I begin to meet one part of me that has never been recognized by me. I was deeply shocked by Chin’s death which was a big blow to my profession and me. “Am I a good social worker?” The question kept bothering me, forcing me to ponder “Did I really understand myself?” “Where did the self-righteous profession come from and where it will go?” Judging a drug addict with the criterion of abstinence is not enough, what is the relation among people? Social work is my profession, but “she” knows herself the most. The cocoon began to break. I wanted to peel through the professional shell which was once a protector but an obstructer now.
By writing in distressed circumstances, by sharing texts with others back and forth it enriches the plot of my story and the meaning of my life. Self-narrating is adopted by me to construct a world that I am able to understand. Via examining my working experience in Women’s Drug Abuser Treatment Center and reflecting my growing up experience, healing myself by writing, I am moving toward a carefree direction.
My working experience in Women’s Drug Abuser Treatment Center is divided into four periods: the exploration period which I began to work as a social worker in 2002 (chapter 4), the mature period from 2003 to 2004 after the modified Statute for Narcotics Hazard Control had been announced (chapter 5), a turbulent period of personnel transfer and been transferred during 2004 to 2007 (chapter 6), and the period of a spiritless civil service employee coming alive since the end of the last phase in 2007 (chapter 7). During the four periods, the Drug Abuser Treatment Center has changed its atmosphere, some significant events happened, and some changing that I can feel it. There are my explanations of Drug Abuser Treatment Center’s system and her context, the value of social work, my recognition of my position. There is also my personal growth in Women’s Drug Abuser Treatment Center.
By creating a circumstance and a space, voices from different people at different positions can be heard and understood. I continue talking with discontented consciousness under the peacefully regulatory behavior. While trying to settle myself down in a chaotic situation, my ambitions and practical actions will be kept on reflecting. Breaking the linkage of self experience and seeing the dark side of oneself are the turning point for me to become more mature.
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