| Summary: | 碩士 === 實踐大學 === 家庭研究與兒童發展學系家庭諮商與輔導碩士班 === 102 === This study is a self narrative research of a student counselor in a Christian church. The study focused on the impact resulting from her interaction with students after becoming a student counselor, and furthermore discovered her change of state of mind from being obedient as her supreme principle since childhood to accepting herself to disobey. At first, she thought she could not and need not disobey, but should act obediently and accomplish the goals one by one in life. Later on, she had an experience of disobedience out of huge suppression. She realized that disobedience was an empowerment in self and then redefined the meaning of disobedience.
The study represented the family context and the power structure of the family, and thoroughly told a story of life. Through self narration, the study helped the researcher look into what she considered as disobedience on a different perspective and find disobedience, in fact, a solution to difficulties of suppression. Therefore she could embrace the disobedient self and refresh her life and relationships in another way.
Through demonstrating the family context and the interaction with the two mothers, the family-of-origin mother and the pastor in the church, this study narrated a story of a single-parent child who accomplished every goal set by her mother in order to confirm that her meaning of life is to be an obedient child. After suppressing her thoughts and feelings for a long time, she experienced her first-time disobedience – believing in Jesus and becoming a Christian. With the experience, she realized that she could separate from the relation to her mother and be an independent individual. But meanwhile she had another mother in her faith – the pastor. Her interactions with the pastor seemed to replicate the obedient mode from that with her mother. Moreover, she got confused with the roles between the pastor and God. Through self narration, she rediscovered her relationships with mother and realized that she could interact with the pastor on an adult-to-adult perspective instead of child-to-adult. Above all, she redefined disobedience and eliminated the interpretation of rebellion or evil. She considered disobedience as a process of self identity and self empowerment. With this realization, she became capable to understand, reach out to, and be open to the students in the church.
|
|---|
