| Summary: | 碩士 === 國立新竹教育大學 === 教育心理與諮商學系碩士班 === 103 === This is not a seeming love story, but a self-exploration one of the interpersonal relationship. I fell in love with a guy, which was strongly rejected by my parents. Hence, a family war was triggered to fight for my relationship with my boyfriend. Facing the confrontation with my own parents, I eagerly requested the agreement from them, and constantly struggled to fulfill my filial piety. On the other hand, I pleased the family of my boyfriend. These attitudes such as pleasing and seeking identification gradually developed, and deeply influenced my role in these close relationships, in which I once lost myself and hastily defended myself in my family of origin.
Through narrative self-healing, I tried to understand my parents, who are both public officers, with their family of origin as well as their office culture. I finally realized that my mother is faced with the dilemma of playing different roles in a family, and that both my parents were growing up in a traditional family, where they were taught “Men are superior to women.” These resulted in the fear of success as the core issue in my relationship. The literature regarding self-differentiation enabled me to conceive that vague ego boundaries was the key part I should work on. I’ve searched myself between my family of origin and relationship. After self-narrative, it brought about the change of position and different interaction modes, and I found myself successfully kept in the relationship.
Having adopted self-narrative method, I learned to see myself, recognize myself, and further love myself by writing books, thus finding the best way to interact with my parents as well as my husband. For the following teaching career, I hope I could apply what I have learned in this method to my teaching job and counseling, making more students benefit from my teaching, and getting along with myself steadily and comfortably.
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