This is as painful as it is－The monologue of a widow's grief process

• Main Authors: CHEN, PEI-YU, 陳霈瑀
• Other Authors: LI, PEI-YI
• Format: Others
• Language: zh-TW
• Published: 2018
• Online Access: http://ndltd.ncl.edu.tw/handle/859jus

碩士 === 國立臺北護理健康大學 === 生死與健康心理諮商研究所 === 106 === This research focused on qualitative data that was further analyzed using “self-narrative ”. The researcher uses herself as the research object, narrating her own life experience of being a widow and how she restructured the meaning of her own life in the past six years. Being stunned and feeling helpless after losing her other half, she began the trip to find herself back. The research discusses how she overcame the traditional stigmas behind being a widow, and how she made the choice to move forward and pursue her own happiness with courage. She covers all the sickness she was suffering in her early life, from Panic Disorder to Sjogren’s Syndrome, which probably would have either positive or negative impacts to her. The research also covers the researcher’s reflections on her life after each significant impact- how she restructured her life, shifted, let go, and surrendered. This is a unique and individualized journey dedicated to the researcher. She reflected her own life experiences: from criticizing herself to being able to accept herself, from fearing death to understanding and accepting it. After losing all motivation to love after her husband’s passing, she had to relearn, to surrender, to accept, to appreciate, to be willing to feel love, to be loved, and to love others as well. After continual analysis and reflection of her own life, Therefore she stopped looking for the perfection in her life and takes a higher posing to see her being a widow as her soul practice.