| Summary: | 碩士 === 實踐大學 === 家庭研究與兒童發展學系家庭諮商與輔導碩士班 === 106 === This study attempts to understand the researcher’s emptiness in intimate relationships through free writing, interviews, and self-reflection. Due to love and loyalty towards his family members, the researcher had denied himself the value of his own existence and this had negatively affected his own self-identity. Through the self-narrative process, the researcher gradually comes to restore his true-self and accept his own self-worth.
This study adopts the self-narrative research methods of the “Reproduction Process Model” by Lai Cheng-Bin and Ding Xing-Xing (2005), and in addition to the researcher’s own experience and interpretations, the researcher succeeds in regaining the value and meaning of his own ‘self’.
The study found:
1. The emptiness in intimate relationships is the result of the interaction between self-identification, the experience of growing up in the researcher’s family of origin and his romantic relationships from the past.
2. Affected by the Chinese culture of filial piety and the experience of growing up in the researcher’s family of origin, he learned to obey and compromise to fulfill the love and being loved coping style,and this uniqueness of family relationships in Chinese culture can lead to the gradual loss of self.
3. The love and loyalty to the family affects the self-identity of the researcher. The researcher suppresses the actual appearance of himself and gradually doubts and denies his own existence, thus forming an internal sense of emptiness. By being obedient, he satisfies the desire of being loved and having self-worth, and thus bringing this model into his romantic relationships.
4. Through the self-narrative processes mentioned above, the researcher finds out how he grew up by reviewing and understanding himself again, the researcher escape the viewpoint from the past that he is not good enough, and not worthy to exist, to gradually succeed in recovering his own self-identity.
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