| Summary: | 碩士 === 東吳大學 === 社會工作學系 === 106 === The journey of this thesis started when the Marriage Equal Right Movement happened at the end of 2016. I experienced a conflict in an intimate relationship with my “friend” in my workplace. From that experience, I was able to connect to another experience of a conflict in my intimate relationship with my “ex-partner”. As a result, I took a position of interpretation and adopted the research method of self-narrative in my thesis to free myself from many conflicts in my various intimate relationships. I further found this thesis has become a journey of self-exploration during the process of writing it.
In this thesis, on the one hand, I tried to sort out those conflict stories in my intimate relationships with my “partners” that I have written down in recent years; on the other hand, I recorded those conflicts stories in my intimate relationships with my “friends” or “family members” in these years. At the same time, I also wrote down cross points/interactions among those stories, among literatures, and among other people. In addition, I discovered myself wandering around among these labels every once a while: “lesbians”, “violence”, “conflict”, “competition”, “power and control”, “avoidance”, and “self-harming as well as harming others”. I then found the transformation of me changing different positions and the ways of the interpretation of my own stories in the process. As a result, I was able to realize that the key idea of those conflicts and dilemmas was “self”.
At the end of this thesis, with the awareness after reviewing the whole process of writing this thesis, I surprisingly found out that I have missed so many stories than I expected to. Therefore, I realized that I was constrained my infinity by my limited thoughts or experiences. My limitation came from my sensitive perceptions of social/cultural environment, living conditions, personal interactions, etc., and then they formed an “imaginary gaze”. I then realized that I did have choices, and I further understood that the freedom I was looking for when I conducted this thesis at the beginning occurred whenever I started to narrate and practice.
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