A recovery journey of my ten- year- old self

• Main Authors: Tai,Hsiao,Han, 戴筱涵
• Other Authors: Lee,Tao,Feng
• Format: Others
• Language: zh-TW
• Published: 2018
• Online Access: http://ndltd.ncl.edu.tw/handle/xzvnv2

碩士 === 實踐大學 === 家庭研究與兒童發展學系家庭諮商與輔導碩士班 === 107 === This study attempts to understand how researcher’s adult life, self-worth and belief has been influenced by following aspects: early family experience and parents’ marriage. As the researcher, I communicate with myself and realize my limitation by facing traumatic experiences in the past. When laying down the self-expectation of perfection, I can also see my parents’ limitation and wound; and I finally understand how to leave aside the past trauma from my family. It helps me see the internal resource of myself and stop defining self-worth by others. I, as a researcher can also lay down the self-expectation of perfections to achieve the process of treating myself better. This study is based on the research method of “Reproduction Process Model” of Flick. Through the my own experience and writing, I create a new interpretation. By the process to lay down the unsatisfied expectations towards parents, I realize it is unnecessary to prove if myself is good enough. It helps the growth of self-worth by having self-differentiation from parents. As the researcher, I find the early family experience has influence on how an adult sees and treats oneself. During the process of research, I was able to distinguish the self-expectation from parental expectation. Those expectations I was trying to fulfill were projecting on others so I didn't need to face the loss. It is helpless to avoid the discussion of family wound and it would even be brought into another relationship. On the other hands, people can start healing and recovering the wound only when they sincerely face the wound. I can truly face myself, touch my own wound, see my parents’ limitation and their wound through the reflection process; and it helps me recover myself. By laying down the expectation of perfection and the unsatisfied expectations on my parents, I can move towards the path to treat myself better.